I heard these words adamantly spoken by Carolyn Myss in her Ireland workshop in March, 2013. I've heard that advice many times before, but it hit home when Carolyn put it in the context of Archetypes. I used to get a sinking feeling after someone said something that hit a hot button and thought, "That hurt" (pure Victim Archetype). Then I grew a little and told myself to listen to "hot button" words and take what was useful and throw the rest away (Student Archetype kicking in!). Now I'm pretty well convinced that whatever negativity comes out of others' mouths has to be taken with a grain of salt; I don't take it personally (Saboteur Archetype helped me with this one). The only words and deeds i need to take personally are those coming from me. My responsibility is to speak the truth as i see it with as much kindness as possible without diluting the point. Everyone else has the same responsibility. Whether they take that seriously or not is not under my control. Now i get it, Carolyn! I wish you peace. Deb B.
I went through the diagnosis, medical procedures and treatment traumas of breast cancer 6 years ago and remember feeling very afraid, tired and sorry for myself. i found myself in the midst of a drama created by the tests, diagnosis, treatments, nurses, doctors, friends, family, and co-workers. All that attention and sympathy didn't feel bad at first; it felt like I was throwing quite the pity party. But then I remember feeling relieved when things started getting back to normal after the recuperation (about 2 years). I healed well with my husband's and nature's help. I was finally out of the drama and into the dharma, the regulatory order of the universe. I was fortunate that all the self-development and spiritual books I was reading at the time made sense to me: Thinking and acting on positive thoughts are good for my health and negativity is not . So, since the Teacher is one of my Archetypes (see Myss.com), I wanted to pass this information onto anyone who asked so they would understand, too. What I saw, though, was some people making a choice to continue the drama. Didn't they believe that drama could cause stress which can hurt the immune system, one of the very system that heals us? It seemed not. I could see drama was addictive in some people. They wore their health issues or life problems on their sleeves like so many medals, ready to display them to anyone who might show interest. I also saw the drama as contagious. People want to comfort those afflicted with illness or problems and don't see they may be inadvertently reinforcing the drama. After awhile, the comforters could get caught up in the drama or see their sympathy flowing into a bottomless well and so try to distance themselves.
So, why is drama so magnetic? The attention feels good but the downside of burning loved ones out outweighs the good. Besides, showing courage of being able to overcome not only the illness/problem, but also to do it with grace and dignity is much more attractive, to ourselves and others. In addition, from a cosmic point of view, courage, overcoming adversity, and positive thinking adds to the positive universal consciousness so desperately needed in this world; drama detracts.
Again, from the Teacher's view, I wonder how we can get the point across to others that it best serves them to choose dharma over drama after trauma? Here's what I came up with: Model it, talk about it, write about it, and develop classes around it. Whatever it takes to get the word out. Dharma is cool karma. Peace to all, Deb B.
I'm very happy to be blogging about my spiritual path. I've a long way to go but I've come a long way, too. Love to all, Deb B.