A loved one asked me if her dislike for herself comes from ego. I told her defining ego is a tricky thing. It's part of all of us; a kind of tool. Its job when functioning well is to help us appear externally acceptable to the world, get along with others, stay safe, and a modicum of other things we need to get through this 3 dimensional world with a little grace and dignity. Without it functioning well, it's hard for Spirit (a.k.a., soul, higher self, authentic self, divine energy, etc.) to show up in us to do it's job: Make sense of the world, give to others, love, appreciate, have compassion, and all the other things that make me say things like, "Wow, my sister-in-law is a terrific, caring, loving person." Here's an analogy: Picture yourself as a house; a cottage by the sea, a nice, sturdy cape cod or rambler, or a mansion - any pictures is fine. Ego builds this house. Ego takes visitors on tours to see what it did in the house and what it owns. Very good - people like that . . . one or two times. But, if ego keeps giving the same tour which is all it's capable of, visitors tend to stop coming. Visitors know what ego did and has and now they want to know who she is. That's where we need to choose to let Spirit lead us. We make a house into a home when we allow our Spirit to shine through. We bake cookies so the fragrance wafts throughout our home instead of just spraying air freshener. . . . we're deeper than that. We make nice meals and entertain our visitors, tell stories of our lives, make them laugh, and ask for their stories while we listen with our hearts. We reach out to them and comfort them. You get the picture. Ego is what we do and have and Spirit is who we are. So, Spirit is the overarching, understanding part that gives us inner guidance, if we choose to listen, and ego is Its hands and feet in this world.
Self-love, many people's issue it seems, is Spirit's job, not ego's. It's too big a job for ego. When we lead with ego on the issue of self-love, we come up short because ego is about what we do and have; Spirit is about who we are. Ego is just not equipped to handle self-love. So, we need to get ego back on it's service dog leash, make it heel, and bring Spirit to the forefront to lead us into the world as a self-loving being. How do we do that? We choose to self-love. If we can't do it alone, we work with someone to find out the underlying reasons or hurdles keeping us from choosing self-love. Then we picture and define ourselves as who we would be if we did love ourselves (see Future Self exercise), step into that picture and feel what it's like to live that future person. Love to all, Deb B.
Self-love, many people's issue it seems, is Spirit's job, not ego's. It's too big a job for ego. When we lead with ego on the issue of self-love, we come up short because ego is about what we do and have; Spirit is about who we are. Ego is just not equipped to handle self-love. So, we need to get ego back on it's service dog leash, make it heel, and bring Spirit to the forefront to lead us into the world as a self-loving being. How do we do that? We choose to self-love. If we can't do it alone, we work with someone to find out the underlying reasons or hurdles keeping us from choosing self-love. Then we picture and define ourselves as who we would be if we did love ourselves (see Future Self exercise), step into that picture and feel what it's like to live that future person. Love to all, Deb B.